Matthew Gallaway

I Want New Continents

Kinda tired of the world/continents/maps

Want new ones (via ground-covers and dwarf conifers)

Is that s000 much to ask?

Help :(

A Note To Wahi Landlords: Fix Your &$! Boilers

s000 sick of Wahi 'slumlords' who live in Westchester/New Jersey/Brooklyn and 'rake it in' (via gentrification) but won't maintain their boiler$//s000 sick of the city not 'doing anything about it' even when u call 311 and the DEP 'sends an inspector'//s000 sick of thick smoke ruining the view of the GWB//s000 sick of 'tasting the air'//h8 u, Wahi landlords, hope ur 'mouth gets attached to a tailpipe' so u 'know what it's like'//hope ur windows have 2 b 'glued shut' 2 keep the smoke from 'pouring in'//wish that 'mayor Mike' didn't h8 uptown so much (via racism)//wonder what he would do if these chimneys were spewing on his 'triple-wide' upper east side 'manse'//miss u, 1800s (via aristocratic ladies who 'hlpd the poors')

Guest Blogging by the New Editorial Assistant

I was born a lil while ago
Ended up in a 'kill shelter' where b/c I was still a 'kitten' and 'adoptable'
I was 'chipped' and spayed
And then adopted
By some ass hole around 111th Street
Who said 'it didn't work out'
Somehow got up 2 Washington Heights
It was hard 2 b alone
Felt sad 24/7
Starved and shivered 4 weeks/months
Lost track of 'time'
Started 2 h8 every1
Questioned all my 'core values'
Knew what Nietzsche meant by 'god is dead'
Wanted 2 die

1 day went 2 a garden
Where I saw 2 'white fggts'
Who can't get 'married' even tho they've 'been 2gether' 4 ten+ yrs
Meowed hard 2 convince them 2 'take a chance' on me
Swallowed my pride and 'acted kewt' and friendly
Even tho I was s000 sad on the inside
They 'fed me' and 'took me to the doctor'

Now I'm living with four men (via two geigh Russian Blues whose names I forget)
Trying 2 b nice but it's hard
Don't rlly 'get along' with catz
Felt like 'hissing' at every1 at first
Couldn't rlly 'trust' n e 1
Ate 'a shitload' of food tho
And slept 'for dayz'
Not sure what's going 2 happen
Might stay here or might go
Trying 2 take '1 day at a time'
And chill hard in the orchids
And watch the birdz (h8 u)

Guess my name is 'Elektra' now (via Richard Strauss more than ne1 else)
Trying 2 b 'strong'
Seen a lotta 'bad shit go down' (via the 'mean streets of Wahi')
Sometimes have nightmares and cry a lot
Still feel s000 alone and 'insignificant'
Trying 2 find 'meaning in life' again
Forgot how 2 laugh
If I 'believed in god' I'd ask u 2 'say a prayer 4 me'
Maybe u can dream abt me
And I'll try 2 dream abt u 2

Goodbye, Lil Phlox

Three weeks ago, u were in bloom
Millions of ur flowers made a 'carpet of purple' above a 'field of green'
But now all of u r either gone or faded
Leaving only 2
By the time I write this, u will probs also be gone

<3 u, lil phlox
U were 1 of the 'best things' abt spring 2k9
A period of history marked by a 'depression' and the Dems 'srsly blowing it'
And swine flu and 'the resurgence of the Taliban'
Wish I could bring beauty 2 the world like u, if only for a second
Might see u next year
Hope 2k10 is better than 2k9

This is a post abt love/death/hope and 'living in the moment'
Goodbye lil phlox (miss u)

The George Washington Bloom Project: Coreopsis

Feel kinda sad when I think about coreopsis 'moonbeam' and how 'in2it' I was in 'the late 90s' b4 it went mnstrm and won Perennial of the Year 2k2. It's kind of annoying when u think u have 'something special' in the garden and then realize every1 has the same exact thing (via the garden center at Home Depot).

That's why in 2k9 I'm so excited abt Coreopsis pubescens 'Sunshine Superman'! Turns out it's a lot hardier than 'moonbeam' and has this gr8 buttery orange color that looks 'fabulous' in the late spring/early summer garden.

Plus it's a compact/dwarf variety that works well in the urban garden, as u can see here. As much as I <3 u, 'sunshine superman' I kinda hope u don't win Perennial of the Year 2k9 or 2k10. Want u 2 feel unique in the garden, so ppl don't think I'm a 'McGardener'.

Have u ever gotten really in2 a plant and then started 2 h8 it when it 'went mnstrm' (via MTV)?
Have any of ur favorite plants ever been featured on the VH1 nostalgia trip 'Behind the Garden?'
What's ur favorite plant this year and 'where did u learn abt it?'
Do u think Obama sounds a lil pompous/arrogant in 2k9.5, or do u still think he's 'the best orator since Demosthenes'? //Kinda wish we elected a prezzie every yr 2 reflect 'how fast we move in the modern world' (via constant Twitter/FB updates).
Do u know y it's good to be 'ethnically diverse' in 2k9 but not 'a homo'? Kinda h8 myself in 2k9 4 being a 'white fggt'///just want 2 b part of a 'celebrated community' instd of 'shit on by Fox News 24/7'

Bonus feature 1//can u find the 'ant' in this shot? (Note that we are all ants -- even Obama and Arnold -- when u think about it.)

Bonus # 2//Can u identify the purple flower in the background? Clues: it's not a 'pansy' and it's a 'groundcover' from New Zealand, where every1 thinks it's a 'weed.'

<3 u, Coreopsis pubescens 'Sunshine Superman'//hope u live 4ever

Corsican Mint

I'm not sure exactly when I became obsessed with Corsican mint, but I seem to remember first seeing it in a gardening book, where someone had planted an immense swath of it, interrupted only by a few stepping stones. I'm not sure why anyone would plant grass when you could just as easily have a field of pale green Corsican mint, particularly if you live in the right temperature zone; sadly, we're a bit too hot/cold here to maintain more than a few small patches, nestled in the rocks.

Along with Russian sage, Corsican mint is the most fragrant plant in the garden. It smells like natural toothpaste, only better!

I feel like most judges and politicians probably don't 'get' Corsican mint, which is why I'd always rather be gay/vext, even if it means that I'm a 'second-class citizen' for the indefinite future.

I feel like the world both rewards/punishes a certain kind of obsessive personality that is often (but certainly not always) tied to being gay/vext/non-heterosexual. The highs are higher and the lows are lower, but in the end, would you rather spend your days caressing the tiny leaves of a tiny plant -- looking for that tiny, ephemeral (but intense) pleasure -- or writing/endorsing judicial opinions you know will quickly sink into the morass of bureaucracy that runs so much of the modern world?

Political and judicial power will always be fleeting, while Corsican mint is 4ever.

The Washington Heights Garden Project

Since I'm always taking 'closeups' of all my frienz in the garden, I thought every1 might like 2 see more of a 'group shot'

When we moved in 10 yrs ago, the backyard was just a 'patch of dirt/cement' with lotz of crack pipes/syringes/lighters/spoons/cat carcasses (rip). I ripped out all the cement and trucked in a 'shitload' of dirt/fertilizer. We finally put up walls 3 yrs ago 2 'keep out the rats' (miss u) and b/c we wanted more of a 'courtyard effect' (via Venice).

Went 'dumpster diving' in Harlem for the bricks and rocks

Sometimes wonder what every1 in the bldgs around us think of the 'white fggts' who $pend all their money on 'plants n shit'//ppl don't throw stuff as much as they used 2 tho (knock on wood, every1)

Wish every1 cld 'have a garden 2 take of'//sometimes feel like 'beauty' isn't always appreciated in 2k9 (via internet memes/google/amazon/apple/hollywood/obama)

just want 2 chill in the natural/artificial world of the urban garden

<3 u, dappled sunlight/southern exposure//do u have a favorite plant/time of day/age at which u want 2 'retire'?

The George Washington Bridge Project

Does ne1 know what 'memorial day' stands 4? I always thought it was a way 2 'kick off the summer jams' but 2day some1 told me that it was mnt 2 honor 'soldiers and shit'//feel kinda sad I can't 'serve my country' b/c I'm on record as being a 'certified fggt'//wish I could go 2 afghanistan/iraq and 'blow away some terrorists'//still 'really mad' abt 911 (never 4get)

Do u feel like Obama is rlly 'shitting on the geighs' in 2k9 (via 'discharging that fggt who speaks arabic') or do u think he's going 2 eventually 'stop being such a fucking pussy' and 'do the right thing'?

Kinda wish google was prez instead of Obama//pretty sure they wouldn't 'give a shit' abt right-wing nutjobs and offer 'domestic partnerships' 2 the geighs

Do u ever wonder what Obama thinks when he 'looks in the mirror' and thinks about geighs? Seems kinda strange that some1 whose parents couldn't have even 'got married' in 19__ is s000 intent on 'sitting on his ass' //rlly 'hope' both his daughters grow up 2 b lesbians

Happy Memorial Day every1//<3 u

The George Washington Bloom Project

Most of last year this orchid was infested with bugs and on 'the brink of death'

But thanks to a long stay in 'the ICU' it's once again in bloom

Plants will always choose to live if given the chance

This post is about what it means to be a 'late bloomer'

Seattle or Washington Heights?

Hi every1. As u may or may not know, I just spent a 'week' in Seattle, where I was 'totes blown away' by the lush foliage (miss u). But srsly, is Seattle s000 much better than our garden in Wahi? See if u can guess which pic was taken where (via a new 'gimmick'). This pic is a Japanese Maple: do u think it's in Wahi or Seattle? (Answers 'below'.)

Japenese Maple #2: Wahi or Seattle? (Can u guess?)

Do u think this ground cover is in Wahi or Seattle?

How abt this 'creeping veronica'?

In looking at this 'photograph' of an azelea, u shd try 2 figure out if it's in Seattle or Wahi. Which 1 do u think it is?

How abt this 'double azelea'? (Wahi or Seattle?)

How abt this alligator? (j/k! This 1's from Florida.)

Srsly. Wahi or Seattle?

This is a view from a window. Do u think it's in Seattle or Wahi?

Here's another 'room with a view': look carefully and then decide if u think it's in Wahi or Seattle

h8 u, Wahi or Seattle?

miss u

<3 u

Answers: Japanese Maple 1: Seattle//Japanese Maple 2: Wahi//Ground cover 1: Seattle//Creeping 'Roni': Wahi//Red Azelea: Seattle//White Azelea: Wahi//The. Rest. Are. 4. Laffs