In today's news, I impulsively signed up a few days ago to run a half marathon in Central Park. The race is scheduled for tomorrow (Sunday), which means I'm now filled with the usual dread. But also a little excitement, maybe. The weather is supposed to be cold but sunny, and I'm in reasonably good shape. I shouldn't die or anything. But I could!
For many years (ugh, decades) after high school and college, I told myself that I was done racing. It seemed pointless. And it still does, but it also seems a little pointless to run forty or fifty miles a week and never race. The dread I feel is less about the race itself than the logistics of getting there, finding my bib, dealing with the bag check, and standing around for an hour before the start. And okay, maybe a little bit of dread as I think about how hilly Central Park is and the certainty that I'll be in some pain going up these hills. But there's that feeling of getting to the top and catching your breath and (hopefully) flying down the other side, which is a really nice feeling. And really nice feelings are pretty rare these days, so maybe it's worth it. One thing I've noticed about middle age is that it's easy to slip into habits and patterns that allow time to pass very quickly; running -- and especially racing -- by contrast, is a way to slow time down.
"How do other people slow time down? Or not? It's a question I think about." -- Clio
In other news/activities that slow time, I recorded a new DeathCulture@Sea song, which you can enjoy here:
LINK.
Or on Instagram, if that's your thing. It's not really my thing -- I only joined up to follow my favorite comic Brian Jordan Alvarez -- but it's frightening fascinating to see how the algorithm figures out (and mostly doesn't figure out) my interests, just by scrolling through the feed.
See you at the finish line :)
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